Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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