I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
