The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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