He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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