This dress was meant to end up on your floor
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
