hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
