Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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