I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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