he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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