So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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