Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
