First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
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