So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
