They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
