I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
