You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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