Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
