Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
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