if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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