Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
