I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
