i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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