I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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