My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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