matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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