And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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