There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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