Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i permit you to call me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
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