Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
