we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
