Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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