I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize