I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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