New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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