I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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