is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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