Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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