Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
