Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
COCAINE IS GR8
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
