I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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