i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize