Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
