Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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