Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
