Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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