I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
