you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
