You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Holy shit dude........stairs
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