That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Randomize
