I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
