I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
