She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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