Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize