Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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