Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
