do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
