NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
