It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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