I cockslap morals
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
