So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Randomize
