So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
