we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize
