pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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